Thursday, November 8, 2012

Video Games










WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE RANDOM ENCOUNTER ANIMALS AND MMO WILDLIFE?! SYSTEMATICALLY MURDERED FOR THE MONEY AND ITEMS THEY ARE INEXPLICABLY CARRYING IN THEIR NONEXISTENT POCKETS! WHO WILL SPEAK FOR THEM?!

And I also have a problem with killing giant monsters when I am OBVIOUSLY in the wrong!  Oh, I'm sorry, AMAZING ANCIENT DRAGON MADE OF TREES, but I want to steal your bunnygirl from her clearly superior society of matriarchal Pagan forest people!  (Let's ignore once again that the male geek brain has invented a society of powerful women who choose to go around day and night in stilettos, black lace lingerie and bondage gear. Realism!!)  AREN'T I SUPPOSED TO BE THE PROTAGONIST(S)?!

And you know what, talking dog?  Maybe you don't have any friends because you want me to go around kidnapping them for you with a sticky ball and then launch them into space!  That's not how you make friends, talking dog!

Now pardon me while I launch into full snowday mode with some original Spyro.  It's ok, the sheep regenerate.

2 comments:

  1. I laughed so hard when I read this, my husband is such a gamer and then he bought me Alice: Madness Returns and this is exactly what happened! It's like Hellboy 2 all over again, poor giant plant monster.

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    1. Having to kill giant plant monsters is the worst!! I watched Hellboy 2 with my college roommates and was totally outraged... we were all on the eco-terrorist elf's side.

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